You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
