Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize