yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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