At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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