thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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