so explain again why im purple
no
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
