these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
