There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
