I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize