My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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