cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
