Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
