I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
