Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
