Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
