I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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