Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
