so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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