I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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