I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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