So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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