Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
