Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
