I can't breathe out the right side of my face
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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