Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy

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(514): View more from Quebec

She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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(509): View more from Washington

We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

(1-509): View more from Washington

You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

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(815): View more from Illinois

Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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(352): View more from Florida

Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.

(1-228): View more from Mississippi

Probably on drugs.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.

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