Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize