Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
