i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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