So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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