I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
