At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
