How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
