evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
