The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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