Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
