yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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