She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
