let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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