Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
