guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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