So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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