Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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