i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I want a musical about memes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
