If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the condom got lost in my hair
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
