I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
