You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize