Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
