Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
