She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
