:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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