i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My penis needs a shock collar
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
