Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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