Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So much rum. So many feels.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
