Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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