He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
