your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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