So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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