On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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