glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
